one...two...three years

If you want to be all technical about it, we technically got married three years ago yesterday, due to Guam's position on the far side of the International Date Line. Regardless, today is the second of three anniversaries that Daniel's missed.

It's kind of weird to sit and reflect on my husband and our marriage and all that, while he's halfway around the world. We actually talked briefly this morning, and neither of us even remembered that it was one of those *special* days...I forgot entirely until about an hour after we hung up. He did send me three dozen roses yesterday, and they're in vases all over the house. I guess he gets brownie points for that. ;)

Today was kinda rough...I'm not sure why. I didn't sleep well at all last night, so being really tired all day probably had something to do with it. Hopefully, I'll be able to get some sleep tonight. I pointedly didn't take a nap today, so maybe that'll help. But anyway, I got home from school at about 1300, and just wandered aimlessly around the house. I couldn't concentrate on anything...it took me almost three hours to finish 16 math problems, because I kept wandering away from the computer. I didn't even really get anything accomplished while I was puttering! I mean, I finally finished the homework, and I started a load of laundry, and that was about it. Oh, and I raked the backyard. Oh, and I made a pretty yellow ribbon to tie around the column on our front porch. See? Okay, I guess I got something done!

Oh, I talked to my amazing mother-in-law this afternoon...seriously, I have the best MIL around and don't know what I'd do without her. ;) Anyway, we were talking about stuff to mail out there, and it reminded me...Daniel's team is going to be stuck at a teeny-tiny little COB in the middle of the desert, alllllll winter. While we all get to sit home in our heated houses eating turkey and other holiday goodies, these poor guys get two meals a day, plus MREs. If you've ever eaten an MRE, you know that they, well, aren't exactly "good eats." If anybody wants to mail out a care package, non-perishable food would be really appreciated. It should take about three weeks for mail from the US to reach his camp, so keep that in mind. Opening a box full of moldy brownies probably won't do a whole lot for their morale. Other than that, I don't think they're picky. If you aren't sure what to send, let me know...I'd love to share ideas. Or if you've got ideas for care packages, feel free to leave a comment. I can't wait to see what you come up with!

it's that time already...

Daniel's gone. Wheels went up at 1644, and off he went into the wild blue yonder.

After thirteen months and some-odd days, you'd think I'd be ready for him to head back out the door. I mean, that's the kind of thing military wives joke about...and in this community, such a long gap between deployments is almost unheard of. And we knew that this third deployment was coming. Seriously, we've had rough dates since early spring. It wasn't like it was a big surprise, or anything.

But, man...waking up this morning and realizing that today was the day really sucked. No matter how many times he heads out on a new mission, no matter how many times I bravely wave good bye, no matter how many times I walk into my suddenly-empty house...it never gets any easier. It just doesn't. I mean, on one hand, it's nice knowing what to expect on each successive deployment. I know how hard the first few weeks will be, but I also know that it will get easier, as time progresses and I settle back into a routine. But, on the other hand, sending your husband off to war is the most heart-wrenching thing any woman can do. I mean, I married him for a reason. I like being with him...not being alone for months and months while he's being shot at in far off places. I don't know...call me crazy, but I don't think that will ever be "easy."

Today's departure, though, was the easiest departure we've ever done. Every other deployment or operation or training evolution or whatever he's been sent away on has started the same way: I drop him off curbside at a civilian airport. I help him pull his civilian luggage out of the back of the Xterra, kiss him quickly, and watch him head into the terminal like every other Joe Six Pack (thanks, Sarah Palin) heading off on a business trip...except that my husband isn't going to a weekend conference in Bumfuck, Idaho. I didn't realize that sending him off all by his onsie was what made it so hard..until today. Daniel actually left with a TEAM today. There were a couple dozen guys leaving with him, and most of them have wives or girlfriends. All of us girls sat in the unit space this morning, cracking jokes about how many sailors it takes to secure a cargo net to a pallet of gear (no fewer than thirty seven, if you're interested) and swapping deployment stories. It was the first time I've ever been "un-alone" on a departure day, and it was the most comforting feeling. Once they finished prepping all the pallets for transit, we all convoyed over to the air station...and again, I wasn't alone. I was astonished at what a difference it made. When they were bussed out onto the tarmac to board their flight, I gave him that last quick kiss and waved good bye...but then, instead of bursting into tears and driving straight home, I turned around and found myself surrounded by other Navy wives who were going through the exact same thing I was. I wasn't alone. For the first time, I didn't have to do it by myself. It was amazing.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not happy that he's gone. This wasn't an "easy" departure, by any means...but it was easier than any other departure we've done. And that gives me high hopes that this deployment might be easier than any of the others. I know it won't be easy, but I'm just working on taking things as they come, day by day...and hopefully, remembering that I'm not alone will make each day better than the day before it.

Do me a favor, though...as you're reading this and thinking about how strong and brave and generally amazing I am (cough, cough), please take a minute to remember how truly strong and brave and seriously amazing my husband and his teammates are. No matter what you think about this war or this presidency or any of that, please remember that the men and women over there are simply following orders, and bravely leaving their homes and families to fight for something so much bigger than any of them. I, for one, am so proud to be my husband's Navy wife, and I am so grateful for all the sacrifices he is making for all of us.